The owner is hosting a dinner for a visiting head of a shipping family and his wife, plus a former minister and six others. The chief stew hands you the seating plan and says "you take the service order." Who gets served first is not a matter of taste. It is protocol, and getting it wrong is a visible insult.
Order of precedence
Precedence is the agreed order of seniority among guests. On a private yacht it is normally set by the host, and your job is to ask, not to guess.
- The classical default is: ladies before gentlemen, guests before host, and the guest of honour before all others.
- The guest of honour typically sits to the right of the host; the second-ranking guest to the host's left.
- Where there is a host and hostess, they usually sit at opposite ends of the table and the service runs from each of them outward.
- The host is served last, always. This is the one rule that almost never varies, and it signals that the host eats only once the guests have.
Service order in practice
- Confirm with the chief stew or host: is there a guest of honour, and is service to run by precedence or simply clockwise from the guest of honour?
- Serve the guest of honour first.
- Continue clockwise around the table from that guest, or serve all ladies then all gentlemen if the host prefers the classical form.
- Serve the hostess, then the host, last.
- Children, when at the table, are usually served early on practical grounds; confirm this rather than assuming.
Whatever order you agree, every crew member must be told it and must follow it identically. Two crew serving in two different orders is worse than an imperfect order followed consistently.
VIP and dignitary protocol
- Establish forms of address before the guest boards. Get the correct title, honorific, spelling and pronunciation in writing and drill it with the crew. "Your Excellency", "Minister", "Sir", "Doctor" are not interchangeable.
- Some dignitaries travel with security, aides or a food taster. Establish where they sit, whether they eat, and who they take direction from.
- Do not photograph, do not repeat what you hear, and do not discuss the guest list ashore. Confidentiality is a professional obligation and is normally contractual.
- Ask the aide, not the principal, about preferences and protocol questions.
Onboard Notes
- Write the service order on a discreet plan card kept at the pass with names and seat numbers, so any crew member can be dropped into the room and serve correctly.
- Guests move seats. If a guest swaps, the service order follows the person, not the chair, and you must tell the rest of the crew before the next course.
- If you genuinely cannot establish precedence, serving clockwise from the guest of honour and last to the host is a defensible fallback that no guest will object to.
- Never ask a guest their title in front of other guests. Ask the host, the aide, or the chief stew, quietly and in advance.