It is late, the guests are gone, and a crew member you have been worried about says something that stops you cold — that everyone would be better off without him, that he does not see the point any more. Your stomach drops. What you do in the next ten minutes matters, and none of it requires you to be a clinician.
This lesson deals with suicide risk. It is a hard subject. If you are struggling yourself, please talk to a professional or someone you trust.
Take it seriously. Always.
There is a persistent myth that people who talk about it are not serious. Treat every mention as real. You are not qualified to judge how serious it is, and you do not have to be. Your job is not to assess the risk. It is to stay, and to get help.
Ask directly
Asking does not put the idea in anyone head. It is far more likely to bring relief that somebody finally said the word out loud. Be calm, be plain, do not dress it up.
"Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
Then be quiet, and let them answer. Do not react with horror or panic — however you feel, your face is telling them whether this was safe to say.
What to do
- Stay calm and stay with them. Do not leave them alone. Not to "give them space", not to go and think about it.
- Listen without judgement. Do not argue, do not lecture, do not tell them what they have to live for, do not make them feel ashamed of what they just said.
- Do not promise secrecy. Tell them, kindly, that this is one you cannot hold alone, and that you are going to help them get proper support.
- Get help now. This goes to the captain immediately, and through the yacht medical response and telemedical advice route. If there is immediate danger to life, that means emergency services or the vessel emergency medical route, without delay.
- Do not hand the problem over and walk away. Stay with them until someone competent has taken over.
What not to do
- Do not leave them alone to "sleep it off".
- Do not keep it between the two of you because you promised.
- Do not try to counsel them, or use techniques you have read about. You are not a clinician.
- Do not use anything based on physical discomfort or shock. It does not belong in first aid for a person in crisis, and it can make things worse.
- Do not ask for details of methods or plans. That is not your role and it does no good.
Afterwards, look after yourself
Sitting with someone in crisis takes a real toll, and the effects often arrive a day or two later. Tell someone you trust, use the yacht support route or a seafarer welfare service, and do not decide you have to be fine about it because you were "only the friend".
Onboard Notes
- Take every mention seriously. Never dismiss it.
- Ask directly and calmly. Asking does not plant the idea.
- Do not leave them alone. Stay.
- Escalate immediately — captain, yacht medical and telemedical advice; emergency services if there is immediate danger.
- Get support for yourself afterwards. It hits you later.
- Preparatory study only. Not a certificate and not clinical training. Recognise, listen, signpost, escalate - never diagnose, treat or counsel.