Two of your stews have stopped speaking. It started over a laundry rota and it is now a cold war conducted through the guest preference book. The deck crew have taken sides, the chef has taken a side, and the guests board in four days. Nobody has said anything to you, because in the crew mess this is entertainment, and to you it is a service failure waiting to happen.
Why Conflict Is Different at Sea
Ashore, people go home and cool down. Onboard, the person you argued with is in your cabin, your mess and your watch. Conflict does not dissipate — it compounds, it recruits allies, and it comes out sideways in the guest areas. So conflict onboard must be dealt with early and small.
Cliques and Department Politics
Cliques form around cabins, nationality, smoking areas, departments and shared history. They are not inherently sinister — but they become corrosive when they:
- Determine who gets information (or who gets left out of it).
- Determine who gets the good jobs or the good time off.
- Make a new joiner invisible.
- Turn a professional disagreement into an interior-versus-deck war.
What the HOD does: mix the rota deliberately, pair people who do not naturally pair, eat with your team rather than only with the other HODs, refuse to receive gossip, and never let your own friendship group become the department power structure.
A Conflict Resolution Method
- Get it out of the mess. Take it somewhere private, both parties, off duty.
- Establish the facts. Separately first. Listen more than you speak.
- Name the impact. Not who is right — what it is doing to the team and the guests.
- Ask them for the solution. People uphold what they design.
- Agree specifics. Who does what, by when, and what happens if it recurs.
- Write it down and follow up. A week later, check.
- Escalate if needed. Persistent conflict, bullying or harassment goes to the Captain and out of informal handling entirely.
The Difficult Conversation
| Do | Do not |
|---|---|
| Prepare: facts, dates, the outcome you need | Improvise it at 0200 mid-charter |
| Choose privacy and enough time | Do it in front of the team, or by message |
| Open plainly: I need to talk about X | Bury it in five minutes of small talk |
| Describe behaviour and impact | Attack character |
| Let silence sit | Fill every pause and talk them out of responding |
| Listen for the reason behind it | Assume laziness |
| Agree a specific change and a check-in | End on vague hope |
| Record it afterwards | Rely on memory |
If new information emerges — illness, bereavement, harassment, exhaustion — stop and change gear. A performance conversation that uncovers a wellbeing or safeguarding issue is no longer a performance conversation.
Onboard Notes
- Do not let a conflict run to the charter. Four days is enough time to fix it; four days into a charter is not.
- If you are one of the parties to the conflict, you cannot mediate it. Take it to the Captain.
- Some conflict is honest disagreement and a sign of a healthy department. Silence is not the same as harmony.
- General professional guidance only; not legal advice.