You have just opened a bottle from the owner's own cellar. You pour your small tasting measure, and the wine smells of wet cardboard and damp basement. Six guests are seated and waiting. What you do in the next fifteen seconds — and how quietly you do it — is the real test of wine training onboard.
Judging Quality
Quality is not the same as price, and not the same as personal preference. Four criteria carry most of the weight.
- Balance — no single element (acid, tannin, alcohol, sweetness, oak) sticks out or dominates the others.
- Length — how long the flavour persists after swallowing. Genuinely the most reliable single indicator.
- Intensity — the concentration and depth of flavour.
- Complexity — the number and range of distinguishable aromas and flavours, ideally across primary, secondary and tertiary families.
A simple wine can be very good at what it does. Faulty is a different judgement entirely from not to my taste — and only one of them is grounds for replacing a bottle.
The Common Faults
| Fault | Cause | What you notice |
|---|---|---|
| Cork taint (TCA) | The compound TCA, usually from the cork | Wet cardboard, damp basement, musty; fruit stripped out and muted. Not harmful, but the wine is ruined |
| Oxidation | Excess oxygen exposure | Whites turn deep gold/brown; flat, sherry-like, bruised apple, nutty; lost freshness |
| Volatile acidity (VA) | Acetic acid / ethyl acetate | Vinegar or nail-polish-remover smell. Trace amounts can add lift; excess is a fault |
| Reduction | Lack of oxygen | Struck match, rubber, boiled cabbage. Often blows off with vigorous swirling or decanting |
| Heat damage / maderisation | Stored too warm | Cooked, stewed, flat; the cork may be pushed proud of the bottle |
| Refermentation | Unwanted yeast activity in bottle | Unexpected fizz in a still wine; cloudiness |
Tartrate crystals — small, clear, sugar-like crystals on the cork or in the bottom of the bottle — are not a fault. They are harmless deposits of tartaric acid. Sediment in an old red is likewise entirely normal.
What To Do Onboard
- Always taste before pouring — a small measure, for yourself, out of sight if possible.
- If you suspect a fault, do not pour it and do not announce it at the table. Quietly remove the bottle.
- Inform the Chief Stew. Offer the guest an alternative without drama or apology-flooding.
- Record it. Keep a log: bottle, vintage, fault, date. Corked bottles from a supplier are often creditable.
Onboard Notes
- Reduction can fool you. If it smells of struck match, swirl hard and give it a few minutes before condemning it.
- Never tell a guest that their expensive bottle is "off" in front of the table. It embarrasses them. Replace it, and explain privately if asked.
- If a guest declares a wine faulty and you disagree, replace it anyway. You are not there to win.